To make Monday tolerable.
Some funny quotes I've come across that I really enjoy...Most from comics George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Dane Cook, and Robin Williams. Enjoy.
I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
A male gynaecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
T.B.I.M (Too Bad It's Monday)
I'll see you again old friends....
It’s hard to describe this feeling…………… I can try and capture it into words won’t give it justice. Not even close. It’s Monday. 9:57 pm. (my minds so blundered I have to check my phone so see what day of the week it is). I just received the phone call I’ve been praying not to come. Dylan passed away…….I don’t think the goose bumps have even left my arms and legs. I’ve been playing with the idea for a long time now of blogging on the events that have flooded my life lately. And in the heat of the moment, I decided to share something real. As real as I can get……
It’s been a month and half (if that) and I’ve lost 2 friends. No, they weren’t just classmates. Acquaintances. Friend of a friend. I grew up with these guys. Experience adolescents with these guys. Discovered how to live life with these guys. And now, I realize how precious that can be stripped away. I look around me and think why does this happen. I’m tired of my high school reunions being funerals. I’ve dealt with death probably more so than most people my age. Working at the hospital, I’ve been on top of the dude when the doctor says “that’s it”… touches my shoulder and says “no more CPR”. All you can do it take your gloves off and go about your day. Try and convince yourself that’s it’s normal while you walk through a family of 15 waiting in the hall as they hit the floor in disbelievement. My family is in the next room right now and the thought of losing any of them doesn’t even strike a nerve. Because it doesn’t seen fallible . Fiction. Maybe some good script from a movie. But not MY movie. Not the one I wake up to everyday. Sometimes I wish I could just change the channel. Find something more appealing on. But this is life. Denial will get me nowhere.
You know, most of the time once I get rolling writing, it just comes so easy. But this is anything but. I feel so helpless and hopeless when I think of Ronnie and Vicki. I can’t imagine the numbing pain they feel right now. The kind that makes you dizzy. The kind that brings you to your knees. Tragedy is the only word that comes to mind. You’ll regret anything you say to them because looking back it won’t seem like the right thing to say. Like it wasn’t enough. All I can say to any of you is to simply pray. Pray that God touches them with his grace and comfort. That the love from everyone around them will penetrate and begin to heal those wounds.
I promised people I would touch on this subject so I will….and if your offended by anything said, I’m truly sorry. But sometimes the truth isn’t exactly the prettiest thing to hear………I can remember sitting in Jacobs funeral. It was between songs. It’s so quiet that I noticed the air conditioner kick on. I look around and see the sadness spilling out of all my friends I haven’t seen in weeks or months. My hands are shaky as I roll the greeting flyer into what resembles a baton. Everyone’s noses appear to be running. I notice certain people in the crowd. They aren’t my friends but they were his “friends”. I can’t understand why they appear so upset. To me, this whole thing came as a shock. To them, this should’ve come expectedly I would assume. If I sound mad, it’s because I am mad. More like fucking pissed. I really can’t stand to look at them. They make me sick. I don’t feel like they should even be allowed in the church. They contributed to the loss of my friend. I shouldn’t owe them sympathy. They won’t get a “sorry for your loss” from me. Hell no. They should owe me and my friends something. They probably are so messed up they can’t feel what’s going on right now anyway. They owe his family something. His true friends something. The people who were part of the solution. Not the problem. But…….after all was said and done I just tell myself “Austin, they’ll have to answer for their sins. Just like you do.” Revenge is a wicked thing. Something I don’t believe in. The world has a way of evening itself out ya see. And the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that’s true. I’m not gonna put anyone on blast on here, because I have more character than that. But I can’t guarantee that someone won’t be told to read this because it sounds like someone they know. And if you’re that person, I would suggest getting your life straight. I guess I just don’t understand or fully grasp the concept of “clubbing”. The sound of popping tabs, smoking a bowl and shot gunning beers just confuses me. I mean really, how unhappy are you? What causes you to mask this emotion with numbness. Have you ever stopped and thought that? Exactly why am I doing this. “cause it feels good” “cause there’s nothing to do” “cause I live in Paris, tx”…give me a fucking break. That’s the biggest most cowardly thing I’ve ever heard. You’re not cool. And I hate it if I’m the one breaking it to you. I hope this sobers you up. I hope you find yourself. I hope you find God, or better yet, He finds you….
In this most recent event (sad I have to separate tragic stories isn’t it) I don’t put the blame on anyone. Not Keefer. Not anyone. An accident is an accident. The guys who were in the wreck have enough to deal with. They don’t deserve an utter of disapprovement. Those people on Topix can go to hell for all I care. Those soulless, sorry excuses for humans can burn. And like I said, they have to answer just like all the rest of us. Which makes me feel better.
I know this isn’t the best thing I’ve ever written but it’s probably the most unscripted and raw thing that’s come out in a while. I just ask that you pray for the Fisher and Ballard family. Because when you wake up 6 months from now, and you go your whole day without thinking of what’s happened here recently, just remember, they haven’t. Every day is a struggle. So continue to keep them in your thoughts as those who they’ve lost will be in theirs.
John 14:1-3
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
"Nice day out ain't it?!"
I tell you what people, I don't know what to do. Tornadoes. Earthquakes. Tsunamis....things are really getting out of hand. Hope your right with God cause the end can't be far away. Today was freakin' great though. Aside from the wind, i was itchin to get out and about. Speakin of which, i decided to wash my car today. sooo im at the car wash and im doing the whole "put your $1 bill in the machine for 4 quarters" thing. and this dude just basically starts waving his sprayer around and (i already mentioned the wind) misted the hell out of me. i mean, i took my glasses off and wiped the lenses on the inside of my shirt. Butttt i cut the guy some slack. it was a nice enough day out and i had just got done with a 3 hr workout (compliments of Anytime Fitness) so needless to say, a shower was on my "To-Do" list. so i says to the guy over the sound of the carwash
"Hey Harry (Potter), watch where your swingin' that wand!!"
"What??"
"I said it sure is a nice day out ain't it?!"
"Ohh yeahh. Beautiful day!"
Nothing better then sayin' what you want and covering your tracks. WINNING.
The Last Lecture
Hey everyone....man, have i had a busy week and even more to come...RN school's coming to a end..THERE'S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!!!or... i think that's light, or maybe it's a train...anyways, i spent 10 hours of my day yesterday writing a 14 page paper..not cool man...not even cool. but i guess you've gotta jump through the hoops to get where you wanna go, right?
I was originally introduced to the video below in high school. It's hard to really capture in words the impact it's had on me since then. Allow me to introduce you to Randy Pausch, Phd. Dr. Pausch was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University where he specialized in computer science and human-computer interaction. In late 2006, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (and coming from a nurse who works on a cancer floor, this is one of the worst kinds imaginable) and was given "3 to 6 months of good health" left. A month later, he held what was to be known as "The Last Lecture". He speaks about achieving your dreams. His optimism and wisdom are something that...i can't even begin to rationalize or fathom. I can only hope to grow into this type of man. I would challenge each and every one of you to watch this video. It's inspiring, unmatched, original and worth every second spent. I cannot stress to you enough. People ask me why I think the way I do, it's because I take the time to stop, listen, and recognize gems like this that are a rarity in this day and age. Don't be deterred away by its length and if you find yourself distracted DO NOT miss the ending. If times your only constraint, remember to come back and make time. Dr. Pausch was once quoted saying:
"The key question to keep asking is, Are you spending your time on the right things? Because time is all you have."
So grab a blanket, grab a friend, grab a box of Kleenex and enjoy.
My two favorite quotes of his lecture:
"The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough."
"It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you."
Just a thought.....
Hey everyone.. Sooooo I discovered a new band today that I'm a bit excited about. It's a band out of Manchester, England called "Elbow"....Yeah, i know. stupid name. dumb.what do you expect; theyre english.... buttttt they're amazingly talented. instrumentally sound and the song writing is way deep. I started watching some of their Youtube videos and came across this one. Its incredibly inspiring (at least to me). And it got me thinking which is primarily why i listen to music all the time. If my life were a movie, it would have a soundtrack. a f*%cking badass soundtrack if i do say so myself. not everyone likes the music i listen to so i sit alone and listen sometimes. helps me clear my thoughts. gather myself. music influences my thoughts and feelings. maybe thats why i listen to such a wide variety of music. it takes alot to match the mood im in. looking at my ipod, im all the way up to 10,631 songs/262 artists/31.1 days worth of music. and amazingly sometimes i cant find anything i want to hear. its like my sub-conscience brain knows theres that one song in there that'll make everything in the world right for about 4 minutes. and theres nothing more frustrating than searching and not being able to physically find it..... But today this song sparked me to think.
I'd like for you to watch the video and read the lyrics before reading my analysis.
Drinking in the morning sun
Blinking in the morning sun
Shaking off the heavy one
Heavy like a loaded gun
What made me behave that way?
Using words I never say
I can only think it must be love
Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day
Someone tell me how I feel
It's silly wrong but vivid right
Oh, kiss me like the final meal
Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight
Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see you like
Yeah, lying with me half-awake
Stumbling over what to say
Well, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day
So throw those curtains wide!
One day like this a year'd see me right!
For some reason, that video is awesome. So real. So simple. It's like that feeling you get when you know everything is right for once. If for only a day or for a moment, your happy. you know your gonna be okay. in the case of this song, its meeting someone and knowing essentially they're the one for you. the realization of destiny, if you will....
After getting to this point i starting thinking. Essentially, the person i'm gonna eventually be with is out in the world...like, right now. Reading a book or driving in her car or texting her current boyfriend. I mean, how freaking weird is that to think about. I had NEVER connected the future to the present time like that. I mean think about it. All you people reading this, if you arent married yet, the person you eventually will is doing something right now. They're like an actual person whos been around for prolly about as long as you have. And it makes me wonder do i even know her? does she know me? Is she in another place i'll eventually move to? have i already met her, but just like once? what's she look like? shes prolly someone thats not even "my type". God would do that just to screw with me and laugh; make it harder for me to recognize....It almost makes you want to drop the person your with if you know its not gonna work in the long haul. just temporary. BUT then again, you do have to live in the present time and the future inevitably makes its way to you.....SOOOOOO, idk. i guess you have to be the judge. hears a thought, make the present time more compatible with the future. Is it even possible to make the present mesh with the future more smoothly? or would it even be a waste of time to try since the future is inevitable?...i'm getting too deep here for some people. i know. basically, i guess what i mean to say is, when you look at someone and you feel something for some reason you cant explain, drop what your doing and pursue it. Forget the plans you've made and pursue it. Take that broken record off and put on something new. idk. just a thought i had today......
The Evolution of Swagger
Well….I’ve been thinking but not more than is required to function (or at least I try not to). First of all, I’d like to personally give a shout out to my boy Cory Reeves for some material to blog about. Anywho, my little brother Addison just recently had a birthday as well, (the big 14!) and all he wanted was clothes, which made me think of days past. He’s in the 8th grade, which basically means his life revolves around vocabulary tests, grabbing ass, snack bars, begging for change from your buddies and preparing for the TAKS test…….….ok, im gonna go off subject here for a sec. I don’t really have high regards for the TAKS test. I mean….ok. The TAKS test is a freaking joke. And what amazes me is that kids (somehow) still seem to fail it. I can remember when I was in 11th grade, this guy I played football with (whom will not be named) happened to fail the TAKS test 3 times…yes, no need to go back and read it again, he in fact failed it 3 times. I understand that not everyone has the same intellectual capabilities as others and shoot, I may have been the same way if I had been put in his shoes. But, the crutches they give you in high school don’t prepare you for the real world what so ever. Life doesn’t consist of multiple choice questions and you certainly won’t have a C.A.T. room at your job to reduce all your problems to 50/50 answers…….i digress. NOW back to the subject at hand. Middle school. A lot has changed since those good ol days. It’s funny to look back and laugh at how freakin’ ignorant we were. Life, for me at least, pretty much consisted of Football, skateboarding with my hooligan friends, and talking on the phone with girls for hours about….absolutely nothing worth even noting now haha. Geez, we were so stupid!!!! In like 3rd and 4th grade, you weren’t shit unless you had JNCO jeans. They are the most hideous things I have ever seen!! It seriously looked like someone was wearing a long denim dress, but one on both legs. And they had pockets on the back of them that you could easily smuggle a baby across international lines in. We wore button down shirts UNBUTTONED and UNTUCKED with a white shirt underneath it and Doc Martins. The bigger the sole on your Doc Martins (which made you look taller) the better!!! If it were summer, you better have on blue jean shorts (or as I like to call them “JORTS”) and leather sandals (not flip flops). Girls wore M.U.D.D. brand blue jeans and tight little “choker” necklaces.
As we transitioned into middle school, brand names were even more important. 6th grade was the year of the Adidas throw back “RUN DMC” style shoes. White leather was preferred. You also HAD to have the L.L. Bean backpack with your initials embroidered into the back of it ………..And then…there was…………..the skateboard scene. We were rockin’ those skateboard brands like nobody’s business. All the guys decided to grow their hair out (where mine reigned supreme if I do say so myself). We thought we were cooler than the other side of the pillow. We wore our skate t-shirts like badges of honor (when we even wore shirts). Our shoes were D.C, DVS, Adios, Fallen, checkered VANS, Lakai, Etnies. They were laced with “shoe-goo” to keep them from falling in half. I honestly can’t even remember what girls wore. Abercrombie was about it. We used to sit in class and come up with a plan to go out and grab as many girls’ asses as humanly possible. It was sexual harassment AT ITS VERY VERY BEST. We would be like “so…how many did you get?”……”12. How many did you get?”…..”bout 37 or so”…..I was quick-hands Mcgee in between classes. My long arms came in handy ;^)
From 7th grade until about 10th grade, things switched up a bit. American Eagle and Hollister reigned KING OF APPAREL, where I know on any given day you could catch me in a AE button down shirt, AE jeans and AE shoes….not to mention my AE necklace and underwear. Boxers or briefs you might ask ladies? I’ll never tell…. Somewhere during this time, us fellas discovered “hey, square toed boots are cool. These will go great with my boot-cut jeans.” And we rocked Affliction shirts. We looked like a bunch of eagles walking around. All our shirts had wings on the back of em; shiney/glittery wings…cause we were badasses like that lol…Girls wore SKIN TIGHT miss me jeans and you couldn’t even slide a finger in. Believe me, I tried.
Nowadays, everyone has branched out into their own style. You’ve got your guys that wear their Chaps polos and boots. Your “cool guys” that still haven’t figured out that Affliction and Tap Out aren’t cool (along with white Oakelys). Some guys start wearing expensive jeans and shirts (putting up the money front). And then I fall somewhere in the middle…a plain denim button down or t-shirt will do me just fine. Maybe I’ll wear my boots today, or my white boat shoes, or my vans , or jordans haha. No wonder nobody can figure me out. Hell, I can’t figure me out. It’s whatever I’m feelin….speaking of feelin’, I feel like watching a movie. My hands are tired. I’ve got “It’s kind of a funny story” in the bluray. Unknown Zach Galifinakus movie. Check it out.
Post your comments BELOW or maybe your own thoughts of retarded stuff you did when you were a kid... Until next time, avoid any vacations to Japan.
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